Psych 101: Be Kind!
“Work hard and…” fill in the blank; brownie points for those who did top-down, deductive processing and reasoning and completed the well-known phrase with “...Be kind!”
Kindness goes a long way in daily interactions with others! Children and adolescents learn principles of kindness often by observing models in their environments, including at home, at school, and out in the community.
Who are their models?!?! Parents, teachers, school staff and leaders, peers and friends, siblings, neighbors, church leaders and members, extended family, including aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents, strangers at the library, park, community center, grocery store, etc. The long and short of it is: Kids are always watching, even when we think they are not. And since they are watching, the show might as well be helpful.
If children and adolescents are to learn ways to be kind to others, then their daily interactions with others have to reflect how kindness can be extended. One of the underlying tenets of kindness is the likely assumption that ‘Everyone is going through something in their lives’; being kind to others could make all the difference in that individual’s day in providing a glimmer of light and hope. It also allows the opportunity to look beyond oneself to support someone else.
Another tenet of kindness is the idea that the ‘Energy one puts out into the world is likely to come back.’ Children and adolescents need to understand how their actions and behavior can be influential, particularly in their interpersonal relationships.
More importantly, when children and adolescents are kind to others, it can also boost their own mood and energy levels as well as their self-confidence and self-efficacy. Being kind can lend itself to increasing their happiness, life satisfaction, and overall well-being. Overall, it helps to look outside of oneself in order to benefit others.
Even if children and adolescents are not learning kindness in their observations, they can also be taught using practical every day strategies to train themselves to be kind to others. Such strategies may include:
Giving someone a genuine compliment (ex. “I love your dress!”)
Showing gratitude with behavior-specific praise (ex. “Thank you for helping me in class today!”)
Offering to pay it forward and help someone else (ex. “Do you need help cleaning up the room?”)
Writing a kind note/text/email to someone (ex. “Thank you for being here today!”)
Providing a listening ear to someone’s bad news (ex. “I am sorry to hear that happened.”)
Giving a familiar individual who they are comfortable with a hug
Being honest and clear in conversation (ex. “I am unable to spend time together today, but what about next week?”)
Drawing/painting a picture or card for someone
Volunteering time at a local charitable organization
The kindness challenge should a child or adolescent choose to accept it: Commit to doing one of the above strategies or a different one once daily for the next 30 days. What would their mental health, environments and relationships look like then?!?!
